NOW THAT'S A HEADLINE

No matter how much I accomplish in either my professional or personal life, I will never truly consider myself a success until I read at least one of the following headlines in a newspaper, or hear it on a local news broadcast...


Int’l star Jason Hardwick hospitalized after severe bear attack. Bear reported dead at scene. Sources claim foul-play.

Eye-witness reports confirm: Int'l star Jason Hardwick spotted on 405, naked & screaming in German. We go now, live, to chopper cam 5...

After week-long coke binge, Int'l star Jason Hardwick proclaims himself lord of universe in interview with Katie Couric.

New film w/ Int'l star Jason Hardwick (BLOOD RAIN 8: The Rainy Season) opens w/ poor box office showing. Insiders predict end for Hardwick.

...In response, Hardwick shaves head & drives into Pacific, vowing never to return. Later seen at In & Out eating 5 Double-Doubles.

Neighbors report: Int'l star Jason Hardwick comes out of house with hands in air, only to discover stand-off with police was figment of warped mind.

Flags set at half mast today, as Nation mourns loss of Int'l star Jason Hardwick's sanity. Next step: healing.

Epicenter of California quake pinpointed as home of Int'l star Jason Hardwick. USGS sends survey team—never heard from again.

Recent study shows that Int'l star Jason Hardwick will always be America's IDOL.

After brief absence from headlines, Int’l star Jason Hardwick returns when press junket ends w/ interviewers severed head thrown out window.

Int'l star Jason Hardwick goes under knife for new role, drastically alters facial structure, only to find part has been recast. Sanity hanging by thread, sources say.

BREAKING NEWS: Photo of Int'l star Jason Hardwick's botched plastic surgery leaked to TMZ!

Int'l star Jason Hardwick resurfaces at local LA hot spot, seen riding mechanical bull, wearing only a bandana and screaming "ranchin' it!"

Int'l star Jason Hardwick spotted outside Hollywood bar screaming at homeless man for not being able to "break a 20."

Reports now surfacing of brutal mauling of Studio Executive. Int'l star Jason Hardwick seen fleeing the Lot moments later. 

In act of shear desperation, Int'l star Jason Hardwick signs 62 picture deal w/ Cheese-Dick Films. Insiders cite complete mental breakdown. 

After months of industry speculation, Int'l star Jason Hardwick unveils new venture: "Tacos to the Stars." Insiders scoff.  Stomachs growl. 

Int'l star Jason Hardwick spotted driving taco truck, in excess of 70 mph, down Hollywood Walk of Fame. More news as it develops. 

According to Police, Int'l star Jason Hardwick's smiling severed head found on south-bound 101, last Thur.  More news at 11.


Here's to 2013: the year dreams come true.

THE FOOL(S) ON THE HILL

A picture is, supposedly, worth a thousand words.  I’m sure you (hereinafter known as the“reader”), have heard this old, clichéd adage, yes?  If you answered “no,” then you, most likely, have been living under a rock—or something constructed entirely out of, or similar to, numerous rocks—your entire life, in which case, that would make you a troll.  And last time I checked, trolls can’t read.  [Go away troll!  Stop acting like you can read!  How did you even find a computer substantial enough to withstand your, what I assume to be, very large and unwieldy troll fingers?!]

Troll-status aside (be it positive or negative), the above adage may be true for some photographs, dare I say, the really “good” ones—perhaps those taken/created/exposed/composed by a real photographer.  Mine, however, are far less verbose.  Thus, costing you (the aforementioned reader (and/or apparently literate troll)) far less time; time you should really be devoting to more important and enriching activities.

Those activities notwithstanding, I humbly present to you the first in an infrequent series of photographic blogs, entitled "a picture's worth," which will specialize in a most confusing coupling of both word and picture.  Try to keep up; we’ll be moving at a snail’s pace from this point forward.

So, why start with this particular photograph?  It’s not a recent picture, nor did the taking of it facilitate or inspire the creation/writing of this very blog. In fact, to be honest, it just happens to be one of my favorites (that I’ve taken, of course).  Hence, it’s inclusion here.

Now, based on that assessment, you can either assume that 1) I have set extremely low standards for myself (true), or B) that this photo blog may have an extremely short life expectancy, given that I’ve started with my personal favorite, and that it is only going to get worse from here on out (also quite possibly true).  Regardless, you are apparently still reading this, so I will continue…

This photo was taken while traveling north along California State Route 1 (a.k.a. the Pacific Coast Highway) just outside the small town of Morro Bay.  And as the astute reader I know you to be, you have probably already guessed at least one, if not both, of the subjects in the photo.  Yes, that’s me, accompanied by my beautiful fiancé.  No, I’m the one without the umbrella, smart-ass. 

I find it's inclusion here, as well as it's status as one of my favs, a bit odd—mainly because of my personal aversion to people who seem to take photos of nothing other than themselves.  And yet here it is, a self-portrait, chosen as the subject of my inaugural photo blog.  The inherently conflicted, often hypocritical, nature of this decision (and all things me) should be noted and applied where applicable…which is everywhere.  I guess I love looking at myself as much as the next person.  I mean, can you blame me?  [Blame me.]

To be completely honest, I’m not really sure why this is one of my favorite photos.  I would like to think that I've taken better.  I’m sure some of this has to do with the attached, personal memories of the corresponding road trip.  Though I don’t think it’s solely that.  I’m not sure if it’s the seemingly non-symmetrical symmetry of it (WTF?), or maybe the way in which that dark cloud has fortuitously perched itself above my unsuspecting, non-umbrella-covered head.  Or maybe it’s just the beautiful lady standing next to me, making me look somewhat good.  Again, I’m not really sure.  All I know (or hope, rather) is that if a “good” picture is worth a thousand words, this one is at least worth these 586, right?

Anyone?

Hello...?

THE STATS: 

Worth:  586 words (and grammatical errors)

Camera:  Canon EOS 7D (18mm, f/8, 1/100)

Soundtrack:  Cat Power - Manhattan (odd, given the very California-y nature of the featured photograph)

Thoughts on life:  N/A (N/A)